I really like this guy a lot, but he never had a girl friend and says that he still doesn't want one right now. He is 19 and from what I hear very shy. I am just wondering how would be the best way to get him not so scared of me. We are friends, but I want us to be more. I know that once he gave me a chance I would make him happy.
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Hi,
He has to grow in his own speed. A way to get him to fully trust you is to keep your contact a problem free zone. Have great fun every time you are together. Even if he does not want more. Build up trust and confidence step by step without pushing, forcing or being demanding. This would be a big turn off for him!
In discussions with him, try to understand how he functions and what his resistance is. Ask him general questions about relationships. Give example s about some friends you know and ask for his opinion. Read between the lines of what he says. Once you know what is going on in his mind, you can give him what he wants and overcome whatever objection he might be having.
On the other hand, you might be mature and ready to express your love. Expressing love is like a dance. You need a partner who is at your level. You can as well teach someone the first steps but it is more demanding for you and you might not get back what you offer.
The best on a dance floor is to find someone who gives you back as much as you offer. Waiting for someone to change, and open up can be draining and time consuming for you, specially if the person does not want to change or evolve. Guys can keep you hanging on for years because they are not ready for whatever. Take your life in your hands and give to someone who gives you back in the same fulfilling proportion!
Enjoy!