My Boy friend of 10 months broke it off 2 days ago. His reason for doing so is because he claims that we fight too much! BUT the thing is we only argue when I bring something up...It frustrates me when he lets me walk all over him, so how can I stop being such a bitch to the best boyfriend I've ever had? Plus, I also have a common problem with "looking for drama"...WHY? -thanks.
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Hi,
Congratulations for taking the step and looking inside yourself.
Anger is a natural emotion. When you get angry, it's simply power, life force wanting to break through in you. There is an excess of power in you which wants to be expressed but does not find a right channel. It is then expressed in the relationship space in a form which is destructive.
To avoid that pattern in the relationship, it is essential to find a "channel" outside of your relationship space. You have to burn that extra fire by focusing on a project, a plan, a passion, a vision, something you want to create. This usually means having a fulfilling professional activity in which you can express yourself.
The second step is expressing positive emotional patterns within the relationship. There is nothing wrong with having a "creative fight" every now and then in the relationship. It boost and clears the relationship. Now, when there is an underlying frustration going on, it's better to find out what it is. You have the resources to change this emotional pattern in your relationship, but you have to develop new skills for that.
The best is to talk with a relationship coach or therapist and give yourself a safe environment to express what is happening.
Enjoy!