When you say “I've always been the jealous type...”, you limit yourself.
If this is the case, it is time to change your mind pattern and ideas.
Obsessive jealousy consumes and destroys relationships.
Right now, it is consuming you and wasting your energy into useless emotional loops.
A part of you defends your jealousy.
A part of you even likes it or is proud of it.
Now, you are defending the very source of your pain.
This is where the conflict lies.
For the last 10 years of your life, you lived with this pattern in your mind and probably accepted it as YOUR identity.
I 100% disagree.
Jealousy is a mind set.
It is like a shirt you put on and enjoy.
What you need to do now is find a new mind set which will give you greater satisfaction.
You need to do two things:
· The first one is to get rid of the obsessive jealousy pattern.
· The second one is to find a new mind set which works better.
If you remove your "jealousy shirt", you need to find a new identity
(You simply can't go around with a naked torso, right? J)
The question is:
What is the slogan you will write on your shirt?
What is the quality which is 100 times better than obsessive jealousy and which solves all your dilemmas?
The answer is “Trust”.
Right now, you are constricting your girlfriend's space.
What you do when you get over jealous is keeping her on a leash.
True! I am serious.
I don't see there an expression of love.
I see an expression of control and inner fears.
This is what I see in you when you are obsessively jealous.
Does this generate harmony?
No!
Is this an expression of love?
No!
Then what is it?
It is an expression of power and control.
In fact, by being jealous you kill the very essence of what you love in her: her freedom, smile, openness, joy and life force.
All these qualities are what you are supposed to protect in her.
When you get over jealous, you do exactly the opposite: you kill them.
This is what happens.
If you love somebody, set them free (that's from "Sting...")
How do you set someone free?
By reaffirming your trust, respect and love.
When you do this, you empower your girl friend.
You give her strength, confidence.
So, what shirt will it be this morning?
The one which hurts and says “Jealousy” in screaming letters, or will it be the new pattern of “TRUST”.
You do have the choice!