He gets set off at the stupidest things ~ last night he started yelling at me to pack my things and get out over a miscommunication over returning a DVD to the video store. He is always apologetic and everything afterwards, but I can't live like this. I try to help him get to the bottom of this problem but nothing has worked so far. Does anybody have any advice on how to deal with this situation? I love him very much and I love our life together. I really want to work things out. Thanks for listening.
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I am sorry to hear about your situation. I can imagine it is very challenging.
I know it's tough but you need to stand up to him. Wake up your power and tell him you won't take that from anyone.It would of course be great if he would do something about it spontaneously but you have to take steps and go ahead.
You need to protect yourself and make sure he does not cross a line.
The best is to talk about it with him when he is calm. Find a moment when you two can have a conversation and tell him how his anger makes you feel. He obviously loves you and I am sure that he does not want to abuse you in any way.
Tell him that this does not work for you. It is destroying your happiness and pleasure from being together. Tell him all that when he is calm.
Tell him that there is a boundary he can't cross.
I know it is not easy to do but you can actually educate your partner on that. The trick is to tell him when he is not angry. You can then have an adult conversation.