Jealousy comes from a need to control your territory.
You consider that your partner is “your territory” and you want to be in charge of it.
Control comes from a need to secure your life and your environment.
It is purely instinctual.
Now, you can imagine that too much control can kill life.
Too much control annihilates freedom, space, love and harmony.
It creates a constricting mind set which stops movement, freedom, creativity, fun and excitement.
Control is a natural expression of power in your life.
When you are born, you are given a reserve of it.
The first use of your controlling power is on your own life.
Control gives you the ability to stay in charge of what is yours.
The keys that you have in your pocket are a symbol of this control.
They give you the power to open the door of your house and secure your personal space.
You use control to stay in charge of your existence.
You choose actions, attitudes, thoughts, emotions, belongings, beliefs, time frame, etc.
All these aspects of your existence are yours.
It is your birth right to own these aspects of your life.
As long as you apply control over what is yours, there is no conflict.
It is your right and it is a wise and healthy use of your controlling power.
Now, when you step into someone else’s life and tell them what to do and when to do it, you are already stepping beyond the limits of your territory.
If someone steals from you your right to self determination, your whole spirit suffers.
You own your life and so does anyone else.
Your partner owns her life.
It is her birth right to decide for herself what she wants and when she wants it.
Now, when you partner with someone within a marriage or a committed relationship, you transfer part of your power to the relationship.
In fact, you accept someone else’s authority and input into your life.
In other terms, part of your personal power is transferred to the couple’s entity.
When you partner together, you join forces.
This is what your partner did the day she chose to have a relationship with you.
Now, what exactly was the agreement?
Did she say something like:
“From now on, you have control over my life. You can tell me what to do, when to do it and what to wear. I give you the keys of my being and you are now in charge”
Of course not!
This is not what she said.
The invisible agreement is much more along the line of:
“I stay master of my life and I partner with you to create a secure and harmonious relationship. I accept to consult with you when taking decisions and making choices simply to make sure that we are on the same wave length.”
In fact, she never gave you the right to control her actions, time frame, beliefs or emotions.
All these still belong to her. It is still her birth right to stay master of them.
This means one thing:
When you use control to limit your partner’s life, actions, attitudes or beliefs, you are already abusing your right.
You can’t own someone else’s life!
It is her birth right to stay in charge of her existence.
This is one of her most basic human rights:
Her right for self determination.