This is a VERY sensitive topic for many. Apologies if anything I say here offends you in any way.
My goal is not to force you into any mind set, Rather give you new frames that might be useful to you.
If what I say here is of no use to you, that's no problem, move on and search for something else that is. Feel free to share your insights. Love you
- The fact that polyamory doesn't work for you doesn't mean that polyamory doesn't work
- Many societies around the world are based on polygamy
- The fact that marriage doesn't work for you doesn't mean that marriage cannot work
- Design your own relationship model. You have plenty of possible variations
- Stop trying to convince others that your relationship model is better than theirs
- The fact that your relationship model works for you doesn't mean that it will work for everyone
- Right now, monoamory is still the prevalent model for 95% of people in the western world
- The reason why monoamory is still the prevalent model for most people around the world is because traditional family structure is still based on sexual exclusiveness
- Cheating is a form of polyamory in disguise
- Serial dating is another form of polyamory in disguise
- You can be polyamorous and sexuallly exclusive. This means that you only have sex with one person and might share various levels of sensual or emotional intimacy with multiple partners
- You have different possible levels of intimacy
- We won't get anywhere as a human race until we learn how to respect each other's beliefs, choices or sexual preferences. Respecting both monoamory and polyamory is no exception to that rule
- Saying that polyamory doesn't work is as limiting and narrow as saying that homosexuality or marriage doesn't work. Say "It doesn't work FOR ME" instead
- The fact that a polyamory partner betrays you doesn't mean that polyamory doesn't work, it simply means that one human being betrayed you. Don't make assumptions or overgeneralize based on one experience. Stick to the facts
- In a similar way, the fact that cheating and divorce often happens in marriages doesn't mean that marriage doesn't work
- If you want monoamory make it happen. If you want polyamory make it happen. It's in your hands
- If someone tries to force you into a polyamory relationship against your will, they betray your right for self determination
- It's up for you to decide what works best for you
- If you don't know what you want when it comes to dating, relationships, mono or polyamory take small steps in various directions and see what makes you happy
- Don't be a polyamory hater or a marriage hater! Being a hater of any sort doesn't serve you! Respect!
- If someone tries to convince you that polyamory is right for you, you have the right to disagree
- The fact that you experience discomfort and challenge with polyamory doesn't necessarily mean that it doesn't work for you. It could mean as well that it expands you.
- In the same way, the fact that you experience challenge in monoamory doesn't mean that it doesn't work. It might mean that it takes you to your edge and makes you a more powerful being.
- Many people claim to be monoamorous but their actions, attitudes and choices tell you the exact opposite
- If you want to enjoy your sexual freedom you must be ready to embrace your partner's sexual freedom too
- There is such a thing as sexual intolerance. It's what people do when they say that homosexuality, polyamory or monoamory are not normal
- The fact that you embrace certain sexual choices doesn't mean that everyone else has to embrace them too
- If you are polyamorous, stop trying to convince others that your sexual choices are better. What works for you might not work for others
- If you are polyamorous and have something to suggest or offer to others, offer it as an open invitation rather than an experience or belief you try to force on others
- New definitions for polyamory? monoamory = you love yourself - duoamory = you love just one other person - polyamory = you love more than one other person
- You have an unlimited number of possible relationship model variations
- Before you sexually engage with someone, it is always a good idea to check sexual preferences first to make sure you are a good match
- When we talk about relationship models we mainly talk about boundaries, values, what is ok and what is not
- Sometimes, you might have a 1 minute one time experience that goes way deeper than many marriages. How long it lasts is not an indication for how deep it went
- You can go deep with multiple partners
- Feelings change. You might say I love you to someone and I love you to some else the following day, week or year. Both of these experiences can be true and real.
- Being polyamorous or monoamorous is not necessarily a permanent thing, it can evolve and shift over time
- Some people say they are monoamorous but behave in polyamorous ways. Some others say they are polyamorous but behave in monoamorous ways.
- You might be polyamorous and decide to be sexually exclusive
- Polyamory is not a perfect model. It is an evolving experiment and has it's own set of unique shadows and challenges, like any other aspect of life expression