Some shadows can easily be dealt with while other shadows might be way more difficult or even impossible to sustain.

For instance, if she is physically abusive, that might be a deal breaker.

If she systematically takes steps to poison your life, that could be another deal breaker.

If she gets tense or angry here and there, that's a way softer shadow and probably not a deal breaker.

See the difference?

If you are exposed to her shadows, ask yourself:

What are the shadows you are exposed to?

Are any of these shadows deal breakers or are they manageable?

If you face any deal breaker, you have a few possible ways to go:
  • Get her to change
  • Separation
  • Stay exposed to it
  • Get it to evolve
Separation can be temporary or local or permanent and total.

For instance if she gets super jealous when you go clubbing together, then not clubbing together is a local separation that might solve the challenge.

If she's trapped in ongoing abusive behaviors then total separation and no contact might be the only solution.

Got it?

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