How datable is he?

Some guys simply don't want to be committed!

They like their freedom and won't make concessions on that, which is fine!

If you show up in their lives and try to make them be exclusive, you crash!

Your two plans don't match!

He has his agenda!

You have yours!

They don't match!

When you start dating a guy, you can easily identify if he is someone who will commit or not.

You will see warning signs:

  • He does not return your calls!
  • He lies!
  • Talks a lot about exes and sexual adventures.
  • He gets loads of female attention when you go out and forgets about you.
  • He is young and openly says he wants to experience sexually.
  • Etc.
When girls see these "player" signs, they usually reject or deny them.
They think:
"He is confusing!"
"He gives me mixed signals!"
"I don't fully get him!"
When in fact, he is crystal clear!
He is saying exactly what he wants and confirms this with his actions and attitudes.
The fact that he goes out with you a couple of times does not mean that he wants to commit!
You might assume this but it is not his intention at all!
Maybe he even wants to fool himself and believe it is exclusively with you he wants to be while dating other girls at the same time!
He might say things like:
"We are so good together!"
"I love you!"
"I am so glad we met!
He might even get jealous and make a scene over you calling your ex!
This is the moment you need to be really smart as a girl!
Very often these few signs I just described don't mean commitment!
They mean: there is something nice going on!
Your next step is to look at his actions! They speak louder than words!
Does this mean you can't date him? Of course you can!
You can date him but in a light and non committed way.
We are now talking about a very specific type of guy who enjoys his freedom and likes it that way.
He is not asking for change!
My guess is that probably 1/3 of the guys you can meet fit in that category.
This is what you need to recognize in the early stages.
Why?
Because his behaviors can quickly trigger a flow of unwanted jealousy in you.
You feel jealous because you believe he is committed when in fact he is not!
This can confuse you and drive you into an emotional roller coaster.
That's the last thing you want.
Remember that if he is not committed to you, your jealousy is unjustified.
You can play with that emotion of course but there is no "territory" to defend.
Expressing jealousy and possessiveness will most likely mess up your connection and drive him away.
If he likes his freedom, he has probably been confronted before with girls who tried to control him. He often has strategies ready to get rid of them, believe me!
The only way to stick around is to respect his choices or find someone else. If you don't, you are asking for trouble, guaranteed!
Get this e-book and MP3 audios to really get it right with jealousy dynamics:
http://vitalcoaching.com/femalejealousy.htm
To your power!
vitalcoach

About Shiva Rajaya

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