Ok, we have been checking patterns and describing the nature of shadows for a few months now.
It is time to dive in specific tactics.
Imagine that you have someone exposing you to shadow attacks.
They can be:
It is time to dive in specific tactics.
Imagine that you have someone exposing you to shadow attacks.
They can be:
- Boss
- Coworker
- Lover
- Partner
- Friend
- Husband
- Wife
- Parent
- Sibling
- Neighbor
- Etc.
Here are some examples of the type of attacks you can be exposed to are:
- Lies
- Betrayal
- Emotional abuse
- Demands
- Emotional threats
- Tension
- Etc.
These are high shadows.
You have a whole lot of softer shadows that are not usually seen as attacks but can have a similar kind of impact like, self destructive behavior, sadness, or depression.
You won't usually call these attacks but they do impact on your field.
The fact that they are not aggressive in nature doesn't mean that they won't impact on you.
Here are possible tactics:
- Allow - Be passive and receptive - Feel it
- Fight back - Attack back when they get angry with you, retaliate
- Leave - Simply abandon the space, quit your relationship, quit your job, etc
- Go public - Rally friends, go to court
- Be diplomatic - communicate cleanly, listen, understand
- Educate - Get them to understand and shift their behaviors
- Improve - Therapy, mediation or training to improve communication skills
- Set boundaries - Tell them "stop", refuse to engage, etc
- Build up energy - Go to the gym, train your mind and energy body
- Release - Burn the charge
- Calm down - Meditate
- Get support - Friends, coaching or therapy
- Escalate - Get more fire power to fight back, attack or destroy
- Laugh at it - Use sarcasm, humor to release the tension, make fun of yourself or the situation
- Be positive - Focus on the good stuff and keep enforcing that
- Look for win-win - In every situation assess what would benefit both parties.
Escalation is a core tactic used in armed conflicts. That leads to massive collateral destruction. Is there really a winner when both parties lose millions of men in the battle field?
I like the tactic used in the movie "Troy". Both armies simply send their best warrior to fight with each other rather than engaging their whole armies. It's just one warrior against another one. The one who wins wins the war.
That's actually a super wise choice! Imagine that this had been applied in the latest global conflicts.
Improving is the ones that couples tap into when they go to therapy together. Can be very successful. In my experience it takes a few weeks to a few months of solid dedication to shift deeply embedded patterns.
Looking for win-win is a whole new octave when dealing with shadows. I feel that the old patterns are all about defeating or being defeated.
Consciously expanding in win-win models is a whole new way of relating to conflicts.
Looking for win-win is a whole new octave when dealing with shadows. I feel that the old patterns are all about defeating or being defeated.
Consciously expanding in win-win models is a whole new way of relating to conflicts.