If you are a couple or just dating, it's a great idea to have a weekly shadow check in.

You sit down for an hour in a safe undistracted space and you open up about existing shadows in your connection, triggers, possible trouble areas, etc.

For instance she might have said something a few days back that was really hurtful.

Make a note of it and bring it up if you feel the urge to.

Don't fall in blame game!

Practice clear, respectful, charge free, drama free sharing.

Get a timer.

Set it up for 15 or 30 min.

When the timer goes off, take a short break and decide if you need another round.

You can do sharing popcorn style or structure it a bit more.

For instance you can use the "Vital Truth" format.

With this one, you simply say "Vital Truth?"

You wait for your partner to give you a verbal "Yes" or "No".

If they give you a "Yes" go ahead and share your truth.

Get to the point fast, clear and easy.

No stories please!

An especially no blaming!

Keep it clean, sharp, focused!

Once you finish, ideally 1 min sharing cycles, your partner says "Thank you" without replying or talking over what you just said.

You alternate your vital truths taking turning turns sharing what's alive for you.

This communication ritual is powerful to get to the essence fast.

It's a safe space to bring up what's alive between you.


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