Here are some simple examples of female shadow expressions you might be exposed to as a man.
By mastering her shadows, I don't mean that you master her, I mean that you master the way you relate or position yourself towards her shadows.
How to respond or position yourself when she:
CRITICIZES YOU
CHALLENGES YOU
MICROMANAGES YOU
IS AGGRESSIVE WITH YOU
IS DEMANDING
IS NEEDY
CONFUSES YOU
MISLEADS YOU
ABUSES YOU
PLAYS WITH YOU
REJECTS YOU
HARRASSES YOU
IS MOODY
DOESN'T TRUST YOU
CHEATS ON YOU
BETRAYS YOU
DISCONNECTS FROM YOU
DOES SOMETHING YOU DON'T LIKE
TRIES TO ARGUE
WANTS YOU TO DO THINGS
IS SEXUALLY PUSHY
GETS UPSET
GETS SAD OR DEPRESSED
LOSES FAITH IN HERSELF
FEELS LOST
PROJECTS STORIES ON YOU
IMAGINES THINGS
IS DELUSIONAL
IS INSECURE
TRIES TO EDUCATE YOU, COACH YOU OR FORCE DIRECTIVE ADVICE ON YOU
COMMUNICATES WITH LOTS OF EMOTIONAL CHARGE
IS ANGRY WITH YOU
PLAYS GAMES WITH YOU
DOESN'T REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES
SAYS NO TO YOU
IS INCOHERENT
IS INCONSISTENT
LOSES HERSELF IN A LONG STORY TELLING
GETS JEALOUS
IS IN RIVALRY WITH YOU
GOSSIPS ABOUT YOU
TRIES TO DESTROY YOUR REPUTATION
THROWS CARACTER ATRACKS ON YOU
ACCUSES YOU OF NOT GETTING HER HINTS
SAYS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HER
TELLS YOU TO DO ONE THING AND THEN ACCUSES YOU OF NOT HAVING DONE THE OPPOSITE
GIVES YOU DIRECTIONS VERBALLY AND THEN ACCUSES YOU OF NOT LISTENING TO HER ENERGY HINTS THAT SHOULD DIRECT YOU IN OPPOSITE DIRECTION
PROJECTS PAST RELATIONSHIP STORIES ON YOU
DOESN'T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW ABOUT YOU
REACTS WHEN YOU POST SOME PICTURES ON FACEBOOK
BELIEVES HER FRIEND'S LIES ABOUT YOU
MAKES MISTAKES WITH HER MONEY
DOESN'T FOLLOW UP WITH PROFESSIONAL GOALS
ACCUSES YOU
BLAMES YOU
THREATENS YOU
EMOTIONALLY WITHDRAWS FROM YOU
BRINGS UP PROCESSING DURING ROMANTIC TIME
THROWS EMOTIONAL STUFF AT YOU
BLAMES YOU FOR YOUR PAST
SAYS YOU ARE NOT THERE FOR HER
SAYS YOU ARE SEXUALLY INCOMPATIBLE
BREAKS UP WITH YOU
SAYS SHE WANTS SPACE
SAYS SHE WANTS TO BREAK UP
CHANGES HER MIND ALL THE TIME
IS UNSUPORTIVE
IS DISTRACTED BY HER CELL PHONE
PLAYS GAMES TO MAKE YOU JEALOUS
IS LATE
PREFERS SPENDING TIME WITH HER GIRLFRIENDS
HAS MORE EMOTIONAL INTIMACY WITH ANOTHER MAN THAN WITH YOU
WANTS TO BE FREE
WANTS AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP
IS NASTY WITH YOU
IS AGGRESSIVE WITH YOU
IS AGGRESSIVE WITH SOMEONE YOU CARE FOR
IS MANIPULATIVE
DOESN'T VALUE YOU
SAYS SOMETHING BUT DOES THE EXACT OPPOSITE
GIVES YOU MIXED SIGNALS
EXPRESSES HER INSECURITIES
DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF HER BODY
LACKS SELF LOVE
WANTS TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH OTHER MEN
FORCES HER AGENDA ON YOU
TRIES TO DOMESTICATE YOU
BLAMES YOU FOR EVERYTHING
CHEATS AND TELLS YOU IT'S YOUR FAULT
EMOTIONALLY HARASSES YOU
GETS OFFENDED
GETS TRIGGERED
PUNISHES YOU FOR DOING WHAT SHE SAYS
USES EMOTIONAL THREAT TO GET WHAT SHE WANTS
ACCUSES YOU OF TAKING SOMETHING PERSONALLY
DOESN'T LISTEN TO THE ESSENCE OF WHAT YOU SHARED BUT CRITICIZES THE FORM
DEPRIVES YOU FROM SEX
EMOTIONALLY DISCONNECTS FROM YOU
SHUTS DOWN EMOTIONALLY
DEPRIVES YOU FROM SEX TO PUNISH YOU
TRIES TO EDUCATE YOU
SHARES CHALLENGING EMOTIONS
SHE SAYS SHE'S NOT AVAILABLE FOR INTERCOURSE
SHE GIVES YOU CONFLICTING MESSAGES CONCERNING HER SEXUAL DESIRES
SHE EXPECTS YOU TO BE A PROVIDER
SHE SEXUALLY WITHDRAWS IF YOU DON'T MATERIALLY PROVIDE FOR HER
ACCUSES YOU OF THINKING TOO MUCH
CAN'T STAND YOU GOING IN PROCESSING MODE
GOES INTO HER OWN PROCESSES AND EXPECTS YOU TO BE PRESENT AND LISTEN BUT DOESN'T GIVE YOU SPACE TO DO THAT YOURSELF
PROVOKES YOU
IGNORES YOU
PLAYS GUERILLA TACTICS ON YOU
ACCUSES YOU OF DISCONECTING
WANTS TO STAY FREE AND ACCUSES YOU OF NOT COMMITING TO HER
SHE GIVES MORE LOVE TO HER PETS THAN TO YOU
SHE PUTS HER CHILDREN FIRST
EXPRESSES NO TENDERNESS
DOMESTICATES YOU
IGNORES YOU
IS SELFISH
IS TOTALLY OBSESSED BY HERSELF RATHER THAN GIVING CARE AND LOVE TO YOUR COUPLE
DEPRIVES YOU FROM ANY LOVE, ATTENTION OR CONSIDERATION
STAYS IN THE SAD ZONE
PROJECTS HER PREMENSTRUAL MOODS ON YOU
GOES THROUGH EXTREME MOOD SWINGS
GOES INTO RADICAL MOOD SWINGS
PROJECTS UNJUSTIFIED ANGER ON YOU
Here are some possible responses...
I am nor judging or giving you any specific directions yet, just exposing the range of what your reactions might be:
LEAVE
STAY PRESENT
DON'T REACT
GET TRIGGERED
FEEL IT
ARGUE
DEFEND YOURSELF
EMOTIONAL RELEASE
GET DRUNK
SURF THE NET
CONNECT WITH FRIENDS
GET CREATIVE
GET LOST IN WORK
TEASE HER
USE HUMOR
MEDITATE
DISCONNECT
PERMANENT SEPARATION
JOURNAL
STAY UNTOUCHED
...
The main mistake you can make is to take toomuch in a woman's feelings, emotions and more.
In most cases the best response to female shadows is to stay centered and untouched.
This means that you go on doing what you are supposed to!
Stay centered on yourself!
Don't let her emotions or projections become yours.
This can mean putting up walls or distracting yourself online or connecting with friends.
This can mean dissociating from staying present with her.
Be non reactive!
Often the best is to not escalate fights or not let her provoke you.
You can as well go fiery and into fights if it's something you consciously do and master together.
You notice that through all these experiences, the target is emotional mastery!
It's not about just being passive or non reactive to a trigger.
It's more complex than that.
You can express anger or frustration for instance but the goal is to master that emotion, not to be enslaved by it.
These situations are like emotional ninja training.
Some women will be super challenging to be around and attack you in various ways multiple times a day, or they might get suddenly distant or sad.
This means that as a man, you could be exposed to multiple situations a day where a woman you are with challenges you.
You could as well be exposed to multiple shadow attacks coming from various sources like a friend, lover, ex, daughter or colleague.
I feel that the dynamics between men and women are specific enough for us to focus on that specific category where men are exposed to female shadows.
And within that category, maybe 80% of the shadows men are exposed to might come from their romantic partner, lover or wife.
Mothers are very present as well as possible shadow sources.
Teenage daughter, female boss, colleague, sister, etc score high as well as potential shadow sources.
Shadow attacks from women are very specific and once you label them as shadow, it becomes way easier to master them.
There is often a deep confusion in men when being exposed to shadow attacks from romantic partners because you expect love and get an attack instead.
For instance you just had sex and your lover projects on you some untamed judgement or criticism.
You just had sex!
You are wide open emotionally!
You dropped your emotional weapons when engaging into sex.
An emotional attack is the last thing you expect!
Or maybe you do expect it but are not fully ready for it.
The point is that it is an emotional or energy attack, and this attack can send you off center and make you do stupid things.
---
So, what's the point of these attacks ?
Just wrote another post on that one
---
When it comes to responses, it's good to have a trained set of moves, weapons, behaviours, emotional responses or tactics .
In many cases one of your tactics might work really well with one specific person but then be useless with other specific challenges or with someone else.
You notice as well that I use the word tactic because it is a battle!
These psychic projections and destabilizing actions, words or emotions from women are attacks and if you want to win at this game, you need a battle plan.
Next point, emotional or energetic intelligence!
You can rationally understand a tactic but embodying and mastering it is a whole different story!
You don't know if you fully master a challenge pattern or not until you are exposed to it and thrive through it multiple times.
For instance your wife might criticize you. You listen and take it as constructive feedback one day.
Maybe next time you are exposed to a similar criticism attack, you feel totally offended and enter in reactive mode.
Training an emotional response takes, clarity, understanding and often repetition.
You must be smart and stay awake.
---
Seeing your romantic or sex partner as your shadow trainer is a big mind shift.
Sex and relationship become your training ground.
The tactics I offer you are the battle strategies that you can then apply in real life.
The emotional intelligence that you develop in these sex and relationship spaces can be applied of course in other aspects of life as well.
You have two core aspects to this shadow training.
The first one is understanding the tactics.
The second one is applying these tactics in real life.
Most people tend to run away from high energy challenges when they arise.
If you experience discomfort, strong emotions, energy challenges, the goal is to stay present and feel the best emotional response to these specific situations.
You must feel in the flow the best response!
These responses are energy postures, attitudes that are a combination of winning mind sets.
Each response is an energy posture, set of thoughts, beliefs, associated feelings and emotions.
This means that your energy posture is not just an affirmations or a communication tactic for instance.
It is the full embodiment of an energy that translates itself through the filter of your mind creating thoughts, emotions, feelings, bodily sensations or even physical postures.
Your energy response is a transmission that radiates out a certain message.
Your shadow training is part of your life mastery training.