It's pretty simple!
Some emotions and reactions usually mean tension and separation build up when exposed to her shadows.
Other reactions will mean more success and connection.
If you practice what works, you will get deeper and better connection.
If you practice what doesn't work you will get separation and tension.
So here are some of the reactions you should better avoid if you don't want to trigger her further and get to fight escalation:
- DON'T JUDGE HER
- DON'T ATTACK HER
- DON'T THREATEN HER
- DON'T DISCONNECT FROM HER
- DON'T FOLLOW HER INTO EMOTIONAL INTENSITY, STAY PRESENT INSTEAD
- DON'T BE A PUPPY
- AVOID CHILDISH OR IMMATURE RESPONSES
- DON'T BE HER CHILD, BE HER LOVER
- DON'T LECTURE HER
- DON'T LOCK HER INTO YOUR FRAMES
- DON'T JUDGE HER SEXUAL FANTASIES
- DON'T FREAK OUT WHEN SHE CONNECTS WITH OTHER MEN
- DON'T TRY TO FIX HER
- DON'T JUMP IN WITH ADVICE, UNLESS SHE ASKS YOU TO
- DON'T ISOLATE YOURSELF
- DON'T STAY IN SELF ABSORBED MODE
- DON'T STAY IN PROCESSING OR THERAPEUTIC MODE
- DON'T BE NEEDY
- DON'T OVERREACT
- DON'T BLAME HER
- DON'T BE TOO NICE OR JUST NICE
- DON'T BE BORING
- DON'T BE TOO INTENSE
- DON'T INVADE HER SPACE
- DON'T ASPHYXIATE HER
- DON'T MICROMANAGE HER
- DON'T PROJECT YOUR AGENDA ON HER
- DON'T FRAME HER
- DON'T LABEL HER
- DON'T DOMESTICATE HER
- DON'T ARGUE
- DON'T BE OVERSENSITIVE
- STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF
- DON'T STOP EVOLVING
- DON'T RESIST CHANGE
There is probably a list of 673 more behaviors to avoid!
I let you figure out what these are.
That leaves us men with a whole lot of positive options, right?
Some questions for you:
Which of these mistakes do you see yourself making?
What other behaviors must be avoided?
What happens when you do any of the things in that list?
What's the impact on your couple?